~music log~

title	artist	thoughts
"hong kong - revisited" from "plum blossom (revisited)"	mxmtoon	this song ~hurts~ damn. beautiful lyrics with simple instrumentals that grow with added strings as the song progresses. i think of the home that never was. below is the chorus. "Your family is living without you All the way across the sea Your family is moving without you No matter how much you plea A home away from home Yet, oh, so far away Been years since I've been back My memories will slowly fade away My memories will slowly fade away" and another part of the chorus later on: "You're missing a piece of yourself You left it behind you there You're missing a piece of yourself Don't it feel so unfair?" i will go back to the city i am from. i will see where home was supposed to be. one day, i will do this for myself and the family i never knew. i will likely never know them. but i hope to breathe the same air and see the same moon and walk the same streets. the elements of this world connect us even if i do not know you.
"what was i made for" from "Barbie the Album"	billie eilish	lots of thoughts on this one via personal reflection. you can check it out here since it would be outrageously long in this table.
"affection" from "we just need some time together"	BETWEEN FRIENDS	ooo this one i've been listening to for yearss. it's got a very reliable beat and a relaxed sound. it is melodically veryyyy fun, particularly the pre-chorus (the movement on the word "floor" waghghhgh very satisfying indeed), with comfy harmonies throughout. honestly it is just a vibe. it's part of a good album overall!
"Two Slow Dancers" from "Be the Cowboy"	Mitski	ughghghhhghhg mitskiiii yuh. this song makes me feel incredibly reminiscent?? it's some sort of comforting and warm feeling of loss lol. it make me think about all of the people that are not longer in my life, particularly friends that i have drifted away from but also family. it gives me space to appreciate and remember them, the good bad and in between, while i also grapple with the impermanence of relationships. it causes me such unease to my core, thinking about how inevitable it feels for people to drift apart. even if things are good, it feels like there is an inevitable end that looms. i feel like this song provides at least a sliver of comfort (not by disproving it but by showing it in a different light - we cannot hold on forever, and letting go is simply part of the normal course of a relationship no matter how sad or impactful or hurtful) to make that feeling less scary.
"It's Called: Freefall" from "How to: Friend, Love, Freefall"	Rainbow Kitten Surprise	my interpretation of this song varies greatly depending on my mood ^.^. i'll just pull some quotes for now and maybe i'll come back with interpretation at a later date. we shall see. "some days end when i need a few friends now and again, i could never hope to keep them thought to give friends what i thought that they wanted never had they needed a good friend as i've been don't get me ventin' on friends who resent you 'cause all you've ever done is been a noose to hang on to they thought was a necklace and reckless they fell into hell where you both hang with nothing to do" "anyway, you say you're too busy savin' everybody else to save yourself and you don't want no help, oh well that's the story to tell"
"I'll Never Forget You" from "Birdy"	Birdy	this is a song that i typically remove, for the most part, from its original context. i imagine, originally, the lyrics describe the narrator in the process of letting go of someone who was having an affair with them. what keeps me playing this song on repeat, however, is a couple of lyrical things. for one, the instrumentals are so incredibly consistent? their consistency mirrors the consistency of those in my life, for better or worse. the main thing, however is the following line. "i'll never forget you you made me so angry i'll never for get you" by its self, these lyrics are largely unremarkable, but the way they are sung is so incredibly sad. the first portion of this song describes this push-pull between two people; an unsettled relationship. there is still joy there, but at what cost. in the final verse, however, it is done. with this being the final few lines, the narrator is mourning this relationship, despite this anger.
"Welcome to Our House on Maple Avenue" from "Fun Home" (A New Broadway Musical)	"Fun Home" cast	this track gives me very mixed feelings tbh. the overall tone is very fun, cheery, and musical theater-y. i find it very comforting in that it is able to give a glimpse of the experience of operating around a parent with a short fuse and very specific wants/needs. however, at the same time, this is heavy shit, and it makes me sorta think back to younger me and, i suppose, the unfairness of it all. anywayss. here's a few lines that stuck out to me. "We rearrange and realign Everything is balanced and serene Like chaos never happens if it’s never seen Every need, we anticipate and fill And still..."
"A Boy and A Girl" from "Light & Gold"	Eric Whitacre	oddly enough i pay little to no attention to the lyrics of this song (this is very out of character for me ^.^). what makes me listen to it on repeat is the beautiful dissonance and resolution that happens throughout (ex: time=1:20), as seen in most of eric whitacre's work but particularlly in this piece. the harmonies do something to my brain - this track's ability to both bring me both mental peace and ground my brain to the rest of my limbs is nearly unmatched. mr. d, you are an absolute rat for not having my year sing this.
"To Build a Home" from "Ma Fleur"	The Cinematic Orchestra	first of all - the piano and strings!? the way it all moves/swells it feels like breathing or running at alternating points, responding to different realizations in life. beautiful. the lyrics!? it is hauntingly comforting? i think my interpretation of this piece tends to shift depending on where i am in life. but for now, it feels like a love letter to the things in life that we felt were everlasting, the difficulty of letting go, and the inevitability of it all. people change, what we need in those around us changes, and the way we relate to the world changes, no matter how tightly we cling to what we know.